Recherché

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Human behaviour isn’t easy to understand. We are complex. If we were just complex, understanding a human wouldn’t have been that difficult. Rocket science is complex, but we do understand it. But we are, not only complex, but we are also ‘quaint’. Understand one rocket & you can understand all of them, but we can’t say the same for humans. Can we?

A person is different at different stages of life.

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After all, we play different roles at different times.

Have you ever conflicted yourself? You say you want to move forward, but you are struck in the past. You say, you want that promotion but you don’t find yourself working for it? If yes, then do read the blog.

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We can’t understand others, okay. . But the trouble is, most of the people can’t understand themselves too. Not completely.

The way I see it : –
A. There’s always something in our personality that niether we know, nor others.
B. There are things which others know, but we don’t. I Dint know, I chew loudly, but my friends did.
C. There’s a part of us, that we hide, from everyone (Oh, yes!). .

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D. And finally, there’s the part which we know & so do others.

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Psychology is a big riddle. Why do we do what we do? What drives us? Why are we nice to some and evil to others? Why do we love? Sometimes, i do things, which even i can’t explain. I’ll fight with my mom, & then I’ll repent it. Always. Still, I don’t stop arguing with her. And then, when I’ll successfully ruin my mood and hers, I’ll ask myself. . Why? Why did I fight, knowing that will affect me in a bad way? It’s like there’s something inside me, which prompted me to fight, which was so strong that it made me do it even when I Dint want to. .

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“Psychology says that there’s a stimulation behind every thing we do. .and that lies in our subconscious mind. While your conscious mind is your logical, rational, analytical mind…your Subconscious is your il–logical, ir-rational, non-analytical mind. It will believe ANYTHING whether it makes logical sense or not. It never questions what you tell it. (So when trying to accomplish goals know in your conscious mind it takes time to attain them. But program your Subconscious into believing you have attained them NOW. You’ll reach goals much faster).” – Todd Wissler.

Now, talking about the conflict, I don’t like angry people. .and the irony is, I have had Hard time controlling my anger. I, myself don’t like me when Iam angry, still, I just can’t help it.

You can never satisfy your anger. It’s like the Joker from Batman. .Anger just wants to consume you. .and sometimes, we do lose our control & burst out & boom. .Anger – 1, you – 0.

Enough with the issues. Let’s see, what we can do about them.

First step to is to have the will to change yourself. . No one can help you, till you don’t wana help yourself.

You want to get that promotion, guess what? There are hundred others who want it too. .the good news is, we don’t live in a world where we’ll have to duel with someone (duels like in the gladiator, yes I had to add a little drama) to get that chance. There are abundant opportunities. So keep your options open & give your best. I know it’s easier said than done, because so many distractions. . But, don’t lose yourself. You are strong & you can do it. .maybe you haven’t realised it yet, but darling. . You have survived so far, because you are. Appreciate yourself. That’s the second step.

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Getting back to anger, there’s always a reason behind our anger. Something unaccomplished. That unfulfilled desire. Isn’t it? So, next time when you get angry, (I know it’s difficult) but stop yourself, and self evaluate. Think about that unfulfilled desire. Think about how you gonna fulfill it. Don’t lash out on others, it never helps. That self evaluation is step three.

Step four, is never compare yourself with others. In other words, don’t be jealous. Stay away from ‘Ill will’. Do not keep enmity in your mind against anyone.
Sounds very preachy?
Think of it, in this way. All the time you spent hating them, who was affected in the end? They Dint know & they don’t care. But you? You wasted your time, your peace & your health.

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Step five, is the realisation that it’s okay to fail. Sounds weird? Well, we aren’t a born genius. We won’t succeed in everything. But here’s the twist. When we fail, we know where we went wrong. Right? Change your strategy. Everyone fails. And it’s okay. What’s not okay is to give up. And that my dear, is

Step sixnever give up.

Life is not fair. What’s more unfair is our idea of unfairness.

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Keep faith & work hard. You will get there. Don’t lose your mind thinking about the outcome.

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“karm Karo, fal ki iccha mat karo” – Bhagwad Geeta.

Step seven – be optimistic.
Always believe in your silver lining. (it’s my favourite proverb – every cloud has a silver lining). .Hope is dangerous but it keeps us alive.

Step eight – be patient.

Success won’t happen overnight. It’s gonna take time. Progress is slow. It’s one step at a time. Accept it. Just remember, it’s not the end, it’s the journey that matters. So stay on your path & live.

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There’s so much more I want to say, and I’ll continue this in my next post. Do tell me if you liked it 🙂

In the end, all I want to say is. . Be reckless. This is the only life we get. This is all we have. And in the end, it’s all about how content you are, with yourself and with your life.

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146 thoughts on “Recherché

  1. A well thought out step by step process on how to control anger. It is difficult because some of us don’t realize that there are other underlying issues that are making us angry and frustrated. We always take it out on people that are closest to us and maybe have nothing to do with the issues. The best thing to do is to breathe and as you said self-evaluate. Great post and definitely thought provoking!

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Your comments are what I look forward to, always. I started to write about anger, but by the time I finished it, I realised i got distracted 😀
    Iam so glad, you liked it. Thanks love. It means a lot coming from you ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  3. That was a great and moving post! I agree with what you said, but as for myself I find life to be meaningless. So though I chase happiness and try to find myself, half the time I feel that I’m wasting my time, you know? What are your thoughts on that?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. First of all, thank you so much 🙂
    Second, life is meaningless? Why do you think so? It’s okay if you are chasing happiness. . Atleast you know what it is like to be happy! 😉
    Third, half of us don’t know our purpose yet. . We will someday. . Just not today. . Instead of thinking that you are waiting your time, appreciate what you already have. Go make someone smile today, and then tell me, it wasn’t worth it 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Nice ..an inspiring post 🙂 but it’s not that easy to work on it 😛 A strong will power is the first step toward this ladder 🙂 and it takes time to built that 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. A few days ago, when I went to the mall with my dad. We just talked and had a lotta fun. And also when I would talk to a boy. He was really nice. 😊

    Like

  7. Now here’s the twist! You dint plan on that, right? Honestly, Happiness is a little conflicted for me. . Sometimes, little things make me happy & sometimes, nothing in the world can. . Talk about moods! But one thing I have realised is. .happiness comes from within. . I can’t tell you to be happy. . Nobody can. . Nobody should. . Dint you smile back at that child who smiled at you? Dint that made you happy? Just think that you are. . And you will be. . That’s the magic of subconscious mind. . We can make it do whatever we want to. . If we won’t, bad thoughts can ruin our day. . So why not make a little effort today & smile?
    Oh btw, you’re really pretty. God bless. Take care. .

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Quite a step by step methodology which encompasses almost every aspect of overcoming self pity, loathing and denial which are so deeply ingrained in us humans. Quite a work!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. The top part about parts of you that are known to others but unknown to you, hidden, unknown to everyone including you etc reminded me of the Johari window I learnt about it psyc… and then u mentioned psyc lol. Lovely post. Love your blog… looking forward to the follow up 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Great post. We are supposed to evolve it is part of the learning process of life. Who we were yesterday, may not be who we are today. Our experiences change us, alter our opinions, and help to make us uniqie. Enjoyed reading this. You made it so interesting.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. We all have anger and we all deal with it differently. You just brought about all possible ways to deal with it. Great meticulously written post. 🙂

    You write wonderfully.
    Keep Inspiring. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Dayum true,dude. Regrets are gonna be the death of us. We gotta let loose and just…let it be. Letting go for once just might prove to be a blessing. Very aptly written.✌
    And, the pictures? I especially love the pictures!:D

    Like

  13. Haha. Well, this was quite an inspiring post. And I’m sure everyone had a thing or two to learn and implement in their lives.

    Umm, thank you for inspiring. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  14. This is saying ‘the mirror’ truth. This is who we all are and if all of us could accept this truth, then the world would be alright for all of us. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Well, my view stems from a religious, Christianity standpoint where you either accept God and actually follow his ways truthfully. By doing that and doing what God called you to do, then you would go to heaven. But if you chose to deny God, then the only other possibility is hell. So either you obey God the right way and faithfully follow him or you live a life of nothingness. I chose not to follow God, I thought I did, but I was lying to myself. So no matter what I chase after and believe in the life that I live is vain because I’m destined for hell. It’s pretty pessimistic of me, but I wholly believe it. So I can be happy, but know it won’t last. So I just decided to chase after my dreams and hopes to help others through them, and well, why not?

    Like

  16. I have found several persons (bloggers) who have helped me in my walk. My personal blog (http://quirkykorners.weebly.com/) is full of all kinds of thoughts and messy musings. And I am twice your age! You never stop changing, you can’t. If you do, you are dead. You can’t let go of the past, it is a part of you. You CAN allow those experiences to become your future by seeing how they fit or don’t fit. It is inspiring to see others think and share.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. The Johari Window is how a person is ‘divided’ based on how he/she communicates with people. There are four sections (pretty much what you said). The first is the open area, the part that signifies what is known by everyone about you. Second that is the hidden area, part of you that only you know but noone else does. Third is the blind area, the part that you don’t really know about yourself but others see. And finally is the unknown part of you that you don’t know and no one else knows. Its a really interesting concept 🙂 you should research it for more info… I think you’d like it

    Liked by 1 person

  18. An insightful post – we have to learn what and how we are with the different people, it would be boring to be the same person with all right? As long as we stay a little calm and take it easy and most importantly, keep moving on – I think we will be fine!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. These are great points — and very inspirational! It’s true that we’re different people at different stages of life. It took me a while to realize that we’re always ever-changing; that the person we are now won’t be the person we are in 10 years. Really enjoyed this — thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Anger? When trying to control it, watch out not to push it even deeper, rather surpress it. Better, try to understand it. Aftrewards, aftre the fight with your mom, do not think of what your mom was saying, or what was the fight about, but rather think and analyse where the anger came from, at what moment, what iritates you. Is that for ex. because of something concrete that your mom said, or just because you cannot win the fight. But, think of what made you angry, what moment, what did you feel at that moment, what were you thinking. Accept it by understanding, not by surpressing. If you think of it and you analyse it, that means that you are confronting the problem with your anger, You are not afraid of the problem with the anger. In the next discussion with your mom watch out for the moment when your anger is arising. Try to detect it, and not let it arise. Or cut the fight. Here you have to control yourself i.e. control your anger. But you have to first understand where it came from, and why etc. After a few tries, you’ll begen to learn SELFSONTROL. And that to know is bliss. Uff, those are too much lines I wrote, and I am not a psycologist. Regards your lady. Pretty girl. Still too young.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I appreciate this. I couldn’t agree more. Actually, I was trying to write something like this only, but then I got distracted! Iam so happy to connect with you ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Wow, there was a lot in this post. There was many subjects and ideas you talked about. I wanted to address the idea that people really don’t seem to understand each other. I see life as three circles. One circle is how I see the world, one circle is how you see the world, and the last circle is how life might really be. My circle is my reality, your circle is your reality and the last is what maybe the real reality. Where our circles over lap is the small area we share some common understanding. Now add circles for everyone you meet. The part we all share gets smaller and smaller. The fact is spoken language is very imprecise. In fact often we say something we think is very clear, how ever the person hearing it totally hears something different than we were trying to say. A person talking to me may mean one thing but I understand it as another. They say we use body signals and don’t even realize it. So while I have no answers this is one reason I think it is hard for people to understand each other and why they act and do as they do. Hugs and best wishes.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Some thought provoking discussion. Well done.

    We are often compelled to examine beliefs or ideas that are commonly accepted as truth. The presence of a “subconscious” mind requires some consideration since the concept is merely an unproven theory. While the likes of Freud, Janet, Locke, and Jung offered perspectives on subconscious theory, no one has ever provided empirical data to prove that theory. A few of them even promoted the idea that our capacity for conscious activity was limited. Eventually, over time, the so-called subconscious became the scapegoat for lapses in our awareness or rationality. Religions and other spiritual methodology then latched on to the subconscious as some deeper connection to specific deities or the Cosmos in general. Suddenly, or not so much, an unproven theory became the root of all stuff.

    If we can dispense with (at least temporarily) the idea of a subconscious, then we are left with the opportunity to discover the true capacity of our conscious mind and how our unevolved ego interferes with that capacity. In the absence of a diminished mental state we choose to act or think irrationally because our ego dominates our thinking. The challenge is to understand and leverage the true capacity of our consciousness and expand our moment-to-moment awareness of the choices we are about to make, based on the influences we submit to.

    Just another perspective….. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  24. I really enjoyed this post. It made me think of a conversation I had with some colleagues of mine. We were talking about how its hard for people to be content with their lives especially when they are constantly looking around and seeing people with more than what they have. I will spare you the details, but I really enjoyed your post. I’m new to the blogger world but please take some to look through my blog. Happy New Year

    Liked by 1 person

  25. That’s the irony. Iam not that optimistic 😝 and that’s the thing, I write for myself. These are the things I want to tell myself. Iam kinda selfish. .this blog is a gift to me, from me. .and look how amazing this blogging world is. You find people just like you. . Embracing the love, hate, and all those heavy duty emotions. . And not giving up. . Life is all about being happy, right? Otherwise what’s the point!? Happy to connect 😁

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Sometimes I wonder why my path never cross with a person like you . May be I live on a different planet or a different Galaxy. I don’t know. Any way at least WP connects us.

    Few recommendations as I can see you like psychology & philosophy :
    1) Book :Lucifer Effect
    2) Book: Thinking Fast & Slow
    3) Edx course: The Science of Everyday Thinking
    4) Edx course : Science of Happiness
    5) Edx course : Philisophy & Critical Thinking.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Very true.. Humans are very complex and quaint to undsrstand.. And females a quite more. But still there are somethings which we will never understand. Human nature is such. And Wow… Very beautiful quotes Reva.. Enjoyed reading them.. And yes, karm Karo fal ki icha mat Karo… That’s important for being good.. Have a great day… 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Very true. I’m amazed at how much we change but the recommendations for not giving in to negative comparison as etc is so true at any age. Excellent writing this was great!

    Liked by 1 person

  29. You’re such a happy soul Reva. Your words are full of wisdom and hope. Very inspiring! I like the last quote, we are tryung to unbecome what we really aren’t and what we are supposed to be in the first place. Loved it! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Okay I think it’s safe to say I missed you on my timeline man! I even stalked your blog and was so disappointed that you didn’t write for so long, and it’s yay feeling to see your comments :*

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Hi! Your page is amazing. Thumbs up for putting so much effort and time on this post. I enjoyed reading this as much as the others. Continue posting classy ones. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Ah! Your post in already out!! I can proudly say I am part of your article. 😛 I keep signing out and signing in to pacify my fb hunger. 😀 That sounds bad actually. 😨

    Liked by 1 person

  33. I enjoyed your post. If you haven’t heard Baz Luhrmann’s “Everybody’s Free (to Wear Sunscreen)” i’d suggest you listen to it…i know the name of it sounds pretty weird..but it’s kind of amazing.
    P.S Your blog is awesome 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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