And yet. .

Long distance relationships comes with a ‘handle with care’ tag. We stay 900 miles apart. .So, every once in a while, we plan a trip. This time, it was his turn. I was awakened at dawn by his call. Apparently, his friend had just roused him with the suspicion that he might not make his 7:30 a.m. flight to join me because it was now 7:40 and he was still at home. .

Now, he was making desperate attempts to make up. Texting me sexy emojis. “Concentrate,” I replied, with an emoji of an airplane. He sent me an emoji of a red velvet cupcake (my fav).

Since I have met him, life has been a constant blur of ecstasy, happiness & wonderful delight. .He and I have been together for a very long time now. So, yes. . We are the official ‘go – to’ couple for our friends regarding their ‘Relationships talk’. Sometimes, we just sit listening to our in-thrall friends describing all the ways in which they will excel at their new found relationships. .

“I will always be your best friend,” they say. Also, “I will never let you down.” is a pretty common ‘relationship starter’ line these days. .

Everyone around me seems to be getting engaged or married. I love weddings though. There is so much I want to say. .

Things like, there will come a day when you and your better half, will fight about pity stuff like missed flights, and you’ll find yourself longing for the days when you had to pay for only your own mistakes.

All Iam trying to say is, no matter how much you love him, there will be a time when you will look at this person and feel only rage. That you will gaze at this man you once adored & think, “It sure would be nice to have this whole place to myself.”

I came across this article about ‘Zen Buddhism’, saying meditation helps practitioners detach from the cycle of desire and suffering. Although I prefer Pure Land Buddhism, an alternate path to enlightenment for people who may find it difficult to abandon worldly pain and passion because those things can also yield such beauty and comfort.

And then I read this beautiful line “life is suffering and yet.”

I think about this “And yet” all the time.
In long relationships like marriage, you will come across so many “and yets”.

From time to time, he will think “Oh, I love this girl, and yet she’s such a mess.” From time to time, I’ll think, “I love him and yet when I’m sick, he’s not very caring.”

Life is a series of “And yet” moments.
That you are in love, and yet you will sometimes wonder what it would be like, to be single again. The longer you are with someone, the more big and little “and yets” rack up. You love this person. You plan to spend eternity together. . He is your ‘forever and ever’ And yet forever can begin to seem like a long time. In fact, there could be times when “Breaking up and starting afresh” might look tempting.

But “and yet” works the other way, too. .
In bad times, we still have the ability to make each other laugh. And yet, he is still my ‘Go – to’ person. And yet, I still love him.

Loving someone is easy. Being together forever is not. No relationship is perfect. But the beauty is not in perfection. The beauty is in trying and in the failing, and in the trying again. .There will be difficult times. Times when you would prefer giving up on your partner than going through those ridiculous fights again & again. You will have your share of doubts, & confusion but trust me, it’s still better than those couples who don’t have a hint of trouble. Yes, such people exist. .

Yeah okay, I know I have been rambling for very long now, so Iam gonna stop

. .

*to be continued*

68 thoughts on “And yet. .

  1. I guess it does make sense to me and we kinda live our life between those “and yet”. I am surprised to read something that I had a discussion about, with my friends today. One of them was like meditation is really good, but I am not very much into meditation. Maybe some day, but definitely not now. I believe we must not get detached, sometimes when you feel the sadness, there is always happiness waiting to be felt. It’s a cycle, which never breaks, that’s the nature’s rule. We gotta face the dark to appreciate the light. I am not saying you must suffer when you can avoid by not getting attached, but at times you need to care and feel it. I think I have left you confused. I am sorry for blabbering so much. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Ah! No confusion here! In fact, I couldn’t agree more. .I have never meditated either, and I intend to do the same someday. .I am not against attachments, in fact you won’t believe how overly sentimental Iam! That’s why the post. .and Tysm hon, now I know what Iam gonna write about in my next 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Haha 😀 I would like that! 🙂
    Yes I do. I guess it’s high time I figure out my password and twitter name and let you know. I have signed up twice for it but not used it, except for the email updates that fills up my inbox. 😛


  4. Love and suffering seems to coexist too often. In my experience, it’s interesting how relationships with different people can have such a different dynamic. I’ve never tried the long distance thing with anyone though. So I’ve read several of Rabbi Shmuley Boteach’s books (he’s considered America’s rabbi. He was also Michael Jackson’s spiritual mentor, too 😉 ). He talks a lot about scarcity in renewing those early feelings of longing for the other person. Someone has said that familiarity breeds contempt. I don’t believe that is necessarily true but having some occasional space I believe can help the relationship breath and stay fresh. However, I do believe that all men are programmed to disappoint women at some point. We have rather low love IQs. We try though. Like your mention of some times a guy not be as attentive as you would like if you’re sick … yeah, that’s classic guy stuff we often under-perform at if not completely miss on. Regrettably.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Of all the comments, I enjoyed reading this the most 😀 it’s actually quite a relief to know that guys actually understand that. . It’s kinda sweet too. . I guess, that sweetness is the “And yet” here 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This is beyond lovely.
    ”And yet…”

    I’m going to think about this some more. It’s fascinating to hear about your experiences in long distance relationships, in how much work they take and yet, how rewarding yours has been.

    Bittersweetness, challenging and rewarding at the same time. There are always many sides to everything that we live, and it is through seeing those sides that we can truly realize the richness of our own experience. In the details, in that ongoing conversation that we must have within ourselves…

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Iam so glad you liked it! Life is full of such happy & not so happy moments you know? All you have to do is look for a silver lining. Such appreciation made me smile!! Thanks you so much 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’ve been reading a lot of CS Lewis recently and he defined the difference between love and being in love. Being in love, he says, won’t last forever. That is the butterflies, the surprises when he first hold your hand, the way you love everything he does, etc. People call it the “honeymoon” stage. That will not last forever as too many movies and books have demonstrated through fiction. The world has such an idea of this magical love lasting forever, which is why divorce is so common, sadly. Love in itself, however, lasts. The same love you love your siblings, best friends, and parents with is the same love in which should be used with our partners. This God given, gentle, forgiving, slow to anger love is what will preserver when we begin to even (at some points) begin to dislike our partners. Relationships that understand this and do not cling to the thrill, but rather the selfless, humiliating love that grows deep in Christ will last. I am currently with a man who understands this fully and am beyond blessed by what he has taught me. We know we will not always “like” each other, but the love we have for each other simply by being brothers and sisters in Christ will forever be present. I pray you and your partner, God willing, can grasp this concept and live in love for as long as you two live!

    Liked by 3 people

  9. This is the most beautiful comment I have received on my blog so far! I love C. S Lewis. . He is such an amazing writer!! And I couldn’t help but agree more & more with each passing line. . You said such complicated lines with ease. .Iam happy that you are at peace with yourself!! Stay the same!! Xo!!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Shambhavi!! Wrote another piece, and as promised here Iam asking you to check it out and I will pester you till you do 😀
    So take some time out, and see!! It’s not something unusual. It’s about attachment. How we allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough, to let someone in. .not just people but things too. How are sentiments get the best of us & how it’s not a bad thing but it’s just us being in touch with the reality of ourselves. I have said a lot. Haha. Sorry for this long comment. OK bye.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I’m in one at the moment and its not near as far as yours but it’s challenging. I wish he would send me pictures of cupcakes too so I wouldn’t have to actually BUY THEM AND EAT THEM… lol You write beautifully. Thanks for the follow and I shall follow you back my darling x

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Yes yes! I read it. Sorry couldn’t reply in time, I got caught up. 😦 I am so happy to read every piece written by you. There is so much to say but it’s overwhelming at times, and those thoughts remain with us. Attachment is one big word, it has so luch weight, nowadays people are two faced, and as the saying goes “7billion people, 14 billion faces”. Guess what, we come across them everyday, reluctantly and with pleasure too. 😛
    The point you made is so true, we are vulnerable and we make some choices which we regret. We are overpowered by out emotions and these emotions leads to ‘attachment’. But, we must not regret it. As regretting it won’t get us anywhere and I completely agree with you that, that’s us being in touch with the reality of ourselves. And rightly said, vulnerability gives us the real power, we need to be vulnerable to feel any happiness, joy or love in life. My dear friend, *claps* *claps*. You know what you’ve done, you have inspired me again. Thank you! ^_^

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Don’t ever doubt yourself or your work. It’s brilliant. 😀 Have faith in you. You know, we gotta love ourselves first, then the world will come around. I am still in the process of that, you know road to recovery is never easy, but it teaches us a lot of things. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  14. This post is so completely true. The heart can be such a petty and fickle thing, and yet, it can be filled with great passion and understanding. It can offer great comfort to others…or it can disappear when you need it the most. Love this. ❤

    Liked by 3 people

  15. Its just that I like self help books, articles and blogs. And yet I found yours very late….all the posts are great….best wishes

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Iam so glad It helped you! Couldn’t be happier. . This post has been the closest thing to me you know. . So, I can totally relate. Because, there are so many times, when I remind myself of those, “and yet” moments. .

    Liked by 1 person

  17. These are very true words. When I discover my ‘and yet’ moments, I try to remember that ‘the other side’ may not be as great as I think. I remind myself of the things I would have to give up if I were to choose the desirable ‘other side’. Every life experience has a wondrous gift for us to learn =)

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Really!! I’d want to reach you but I don’t know how. Am dying to share ideas with you 😊


  19. Feeling disappointed for reading this lately but I should probably thankful atleast I read this 😀 Felt like watching the series “little things” .. More facts, Much more love and yet.. 😉 Bless you both loads of happiness

    Liked by 1 person

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