Iam not a writer. I don’t do fancy words. Neither can I write a poetic description of how I feel. But this is something I have pondered upon for a very long time. . So, here’s an honest attempt to put my feelings into words. .
The very idea of ‘happiness’ has been a little conflicted for me. .My brain has a switch. When it’s on, it’s pretty easy to make me happy, but when it’s off, I feel like nothing in the world has the ability to do so. .
The beautiful part is, little things make me happy & that’s how it should be. We often spend a lot of time looking for happiness. . But the truth is, there is no magic formula for happiness & no sure path for misery. .
Many of us, think that we’ll be happy ‘when certain things will go according to the plan’. .or ‘when I’ll marry the right person’. .or ‘when I’ll get a promotion’. .or ‘when I’ll be rich & successful’ & the list goes on. .
What we fail to understand is that ‘nothing is ever enough’. . And while looking for our happiness in others, we are just deluding ourselves.
However cliché it may sound, I’ll still say it – ‘if you can’t love yourself, you can’t love someone else.’ Don’t seek that all that comes about should come about as you wish, but wish that everything that comes about should come about just as it does, and then you’ll have a happy life. .
Here, I would like to add how social media is making it so difficult for us to be happy. We are constantly looking at other people’s posts and think – ‘wow! Their life is perfect! I wish I could have that’. .It’s good if they are happy, don’t let that come in between your happiness. Don’t compare. I guess accepting that other people have it better is an important part of finding happiness. .
These are crucial times. There are so many issues. .if you look closely, you will see people may say ‘I am very happy’ but if you will observe them, you can easily see they are under pressure. .trying way too hard to portray themselves as happy, because if they won’t, others will take pity at them, might even think they are a loser. Darling, I know it’s easy to say that it doesn’t matter what others think, because honestly, Vanity is my favourite crime too. But, it’s actually true. .it doesn’t matter what others think, what matters is, what you think about yourself. .As Woody Allen has said, “I do feel that life is a grim, painful, nightmarish, meaningless experience and that the only way that you can be happy is if you tell yourself some lies & deceive yourself.”
You can never be permanently happy, you are no ‘Buddha’ but don’t deprive yourself of those few moments where you can be happy. .For example, Happy faces makes me happy. To be happy, Epicurus himself said, he needed no more than a barley cake and some water. Find such little things that brings joy to your life. .
Before I came up with this post, I took the liberty of reading what the great thinkers from across the world & different eras say about happiness. Be it Aristotle, or Confucious; Epictetus or Buddha; and yada yada; all say that the path for happiness is through generosity & contemplation. The Stoics said that ‘a person had the capacity to be happy no matter how daunting and painful the circumstances of life might be.’
The question that arises now is, when we know what these great people have said, why is it so difficult to be happy? I came up with two simple answers. .the first one is, it’s not enough to hear what you have to do, you have to understand those lessons & sadly, that comes with your own experiences. .You can easily advise someone that ‘Do this & you will be happy!’ but if they don’t feel it, it won’t work. .Second, believe it or not, being happy demands desire & efforts. My nephew wants to be a singer. I asked him how many hours do you rehearse? He said two. What he needs is maybe ten. You need to take the right steps if you want something. .Pleasure & happiness go hand in hand. .
Let your mind wander. You are not a victim. You control your reactions. You have a choice. Don’t be fooled by your emptiness, there’s so much room for happiness. .
Iam trying too, walk with me ❤