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Was it Love?

I’m a romantic. Hopeless romantic. Also, I still don’t know if it was love or just attachment or maybe infatuation.


So many days have gone by and I still think about you. It’s funny how someone can become your everything in such short time. Short time. Oh wait, that doesn’t sound right!?  Was it love? Was it attachment? Was he the love of my life or was he my obsession?Was it my loneliness or my need to feel special?

This is my second post on the series, ‘How the year 2016 changed me’ – an attempt to understand my feelings.

If anyone can answer –

‘why we fall in love?’

Or 

‘how to fall in love?’

They’ll be billionaires (not kidding! Their YouTube channel will be a go to destination for all & their books will be bestsellers!) and also, they’ll be LYING. No you can’t PREDICT love. It’s a beautiful mysterious thing.

We all get attached to people every now and then. Right? Atleast I do. We want to talk to them, tell them our stories, spend time with them. We love their attention & we Miss them when they aren’t around.

Familiar enough? 

But is this attachment is what we call ‘love?’

Maybe. Maybe not.

They say, ‘love at first sight!’ isn’t love. I agree. That’s  pure attraction. But the catch is, LOVE & ATTRACTION go hand in hand. 

Love is weird. Every one is different and so is their idea of love. But I swear these romantic Bollywood movies have hyped love so much.

I think it’s a mix of attraction and conversation. You wanna kiss them so bad and at the same time the idea of just sitting in a park looking at the stars and the ability to talk about anything & everything is equally appealing.

Love is comfort.

Love is happiness.

Love is your support, your backbone.

Love is your strength.

But what if your love is ‘one sided?’

I can’t just smile and accept my ‘unrequited love!’ They don’t love you? Maybe it’s gonna hurt right now but you can’t make someone fall for you. Just move on. Clinging on to something that doesn’t belong to you, is never a good thing.

You can’t keep that love in your heart always and no you shouldn’t hurt others because you were hurt & needed a Rebound. I’ve been there. But then I realized –

Love doesn’t hurt, obsession does.

If you still want closure to move on, because It’s. Driving. You. Crazy. Honey, that wasn’t love. Learn to ignore. 

We think so much before investing our money (also before uploading a picture on Facebook/instagram), so WHY can’t we think so much when choosing a right partner?

Don’t settle because you were scared of being alone. I almost dated this guy because wow he was too kind. He complimented me. Pampered me. He was right for me, I was right for him but as the great Robin Scherbatsky has said, ‘timing’s a bitch!’ I had to let go. One bad decision to hang on to my so called ‘attachment’ ruined what I could have had with him. But I wasn’t in love with him. I was in love with the way he made me feel. 


Attachment is your need, you need the attention and feel good about yourself. But love my dear, it’s beyond that. Attachment will go away with time, love will always stay. In one form or another, but it will. Love is unreasonable but attachment isn’t. 

Difference between love & attachment –

If ending the relationship makes you hate your partner, it was love. But If it just makes you anxious, or makes you think, ‘I have to make them love me!’ that’s attachment. Love is passionate, attachment is just a manifestation of your ego. Love is painful but attachment is painful only when you don’t get time from them.

Don’t spoil your time because you couldn’t let go. Don’t confuse infatuation with love. 

And you know what? It’s okay to be single. You’ll find the ‘one’ eventually. Till then, drink a little. Dance a little. Maybe some healthy flirting. And don’t ignore the power of good food & a bit of  workout (stay in shape, will you? Fit to fat is just one vowel away!)
BOOM. MIC DROP.

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205 thoughts on “Was it Love?

  1. Love truly a mystery for me but I have enjoyed your post very much. Very well stated the difference between love, obsession and attachment. But being single is much fun, atleast for me is’nt it? Well! I too have wrote something on this same topic love and would love if you will check out and share your words too. And at last its truly was a very beautiful post just like you! 😘💓💋💓💋💓💋💓

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Idk man. I dont think there’s anything good about being single 😝 but yes, I’m not unhappy either so it works 🙈 as i said, someone will come one day who will be the ‘one’ for me! Hopeless romantic, yes sir!
    I’m gonna check your post right away 💕

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is wonderfully insightful and truly a delight to read. I related to everything having just gone through this not 30 days ago. I’m still wondering what is was. I think it was at first one thing then another. Fabulous work

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Your last picture made me really happy. I don’t know if you took that specifically for this but it couldn’t capture your last paragraph any more perfectly. And also, while I understand you’ve fallen for me quickly, and that this post was about discovering my blog, understand I am unbelievably flattered, but I also know it’s not love. It’s lust lol. I’m just a dude in Texas who wants to travel the world and document every second of it. Speaking of lust: WANDERLUST. It’s what I got x 73827382. Somebody HELP.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Nothing screws you up more than unrequited love 🙈 i have seen how you write so i know you’re strong enough to deal with it, still if you ever need anyone to talk to. .I’m here 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Wow! This was an amazing read!! You’re right, different people, different definition of love! You’ve explained the difference between love, attraction and obsession beautifully! I loved this post and the pictures, you look beautiful!! 😊😊🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  7. You think a lot, don’t you? I liked the post very much. 🙂

    And yeah, putting your own photos instead of ones from google is good idea. I liked the idea too.

    No comments on love though. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  8. It’s absolutely possible to love other person after being enamored of other person in past. It just requires to get over the feelings for the previous person with whom you were Twitter pages of.
    Everytime, you fall in love with a new person, be it first time or second time, intensity and passion in love never fades. Been there and experienced this.
    And there is no point in going for person again and again, when he has clearly denied your romantic advances towards him. You should respect his decision also your self -respect. I know, it’s hard and heart wants what it wants. But this is best for your personal and financial prosperity and for avoiding being a annoying entity to him.Just move on and wait for the right time . Healing is slow function of time. Just have faith in love and never lose it, no matter how tough the adversities are.
    PS- seems like I typed too long. Maybe , the energy came from the smile of your pic 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Reva, this is a very reflective post that applies to us all at one or more points in our lives. This quote below from your piece gets to the heart of the question we need to ask the person standing in the mirror each morning. Do I love him or her or how they make me feel?

    “But I wasn’t in love with him. I was in love with the way he made me feel.”

    If we could honestly answer that, we could save ourselves some grief in the end. Well done, Keith

    Liked by 1 person

  10. It was beautiful & the last line made me blush haha! Thank you so much! Also, yes. .its better to move on. Will be difficult at the start, but eventually you’ll realise it was the best decision you ever made!!

    Like

  11. Aptly articulated Reva. I can relate to almost everything. And yes, love cannot be defined. I’ve had my fair share of being in and out of love. And now, being happily married for 10 years, with a person who I thought I liked initially, but only to realize now that i am truly, madly and deeply in love with. Its Crazy Love!!!
    Thanks you for refreshing the old feelings, and keep writing.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. I took the liberty of stalking your Instagram and commenting on one of your pic there.
    I hope you will not mind😉

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I love the way you asked questions & then resolve every riddle of love…attachment,obsession, attraction and one sided but at the end it is one of the most beautiful feeling & lucky are the one’s who receive love in return.
    A very beautiful & adorable writeup…love reading it 👌📝

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Hello, I enjoyed your post. My take~ There is only love, and if it isn’t love it’s fear. Fear expresses itself in many forms, infatuation, attachment, desire, envy, hatred, obsession, apathy. Anything that isn’t love is fear. That’s all there is, one or the other. Once we wrap our egos around that, it becomes easier.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Insightful post! Love can’t be defined i guess, its like magical, once the spell is broken, we get to know the secret, then we won’t be as fascinated! 🙂 on other hand love is work-in-progress too 🙂 Thanks for sharing.. happy blogging 🙂

    Josh

    Like

  16. Thank you so much for this! Appreciate it! That’s what makes love what it is, something that will tear you apart and something that will make you live more. .love is weird that way❣

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Did somebody just speak of love? Wow! quite a blog. You’re right people often misinterpret the different feelings of likelihood for love, what they don’t understand is that every emotion is different.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I think love is to start thinking that person is perfect even with all the bad things about them and to except them. I think that when you are in love you just want to be with that person, he becomes the whole word for you. Yes it also to feel lucky, happiness and that someone cares about you, but mostly is the feeling that you will do anything for this person and that you are enjoying it. you enjoy spending your time with them.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. It’s a divine feeling where there is no room for complexities, no room for comparisons, no space for hatred,… it only demands unconditional love and care.. it’s all about giving…

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Love is being able to let go knowing that you’re letting the other person move forward with their life instead of holding them back and fully accepting that. It hurts but you still want the best for them. Obsession is refusing to let go for selfish reasons. Love is being grateful for the time that was spent together. Obsession is feeling angst over what will never be. Love is understanding we belong to no one. Obsession is believing we have authority over the person we’re in the relationship with. Love is free, permissive and forgiving. It demands nothing and expects no reward. Love is beguiling, unexpected, beguiling and elusive all at once.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Sadly we sometimes fall in love with the idea of that person and not that person itself but by then we are so smitten by them that we accept them the way they are because that’s what makes us happy!

    Like

  22. True, and I am not that experienced in carrying an unrequited love.. it’s my 19th month and 27 days since I saw her last time.. and ask I believe that one day she would at least recognize that I loved her with full loyalty and honesty..

    Initially it was extremely painful.. but this pain led my feelings to turn divine.. now when I pray for her in health and success…. every day I feel blessed.. I believe that this is going to be life…a life full of love and respect for her along with her memories and voice recordings !!

    I don’t need anything from her!! She had given me a lot !! 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Certainly a thin line.. I messed up there but with time I’ve realized that there is certainly a selflessness character hidden in the word love…!! Trust me .. I mean it !!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. I understand the pain though I’ll never know the extent of it. To say that I understand it would be a falsehood as I don’t know how much you loved and how deep your loss truly was in comparison my own. Love and pain cannot be quantified as it is intimately personal. But I will say this, love and pain are interdependent, necessary and inevitable. Sometimes they’re concurrent; we love so much that it hurts or we hurt so much that we’re not loved. Whatever your circumstance, try not to allow it to consume you. We have an infinite capacity to love. Just remember the old adage, “this too shall pass”.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. I see no point in carrying on with unrequited love. But If you’re happy, that’s what really matters ❤ I just hope you don’t lose out on the real thing because you were busy with someone who didn’t bother acknowledging your feelings!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Trust me even God’s love for us is unrequited… but still he continues to love us.. yes I believe that happiness is a choice.. only concern is that it should not hurt us professionally.. but professional success is a different issue… the real issue in life is that the way we give respect to our feelings, emotions and by this way we will learn real happiness..

    Thank you so very much for your wishes… it really means a lot to me 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Staying in love will be easy the day people understands love is not a moment’s task it’s a continuous feeling of understanding, trust and caring. 🙂
    Read my posts too in free time. 😉

    Liked by 3 people

  28. Pingback: such a good read – Welcome to Happy Living

  29. Love is something that we will never understand. We will get to a point in our lives where we think we know what love, but love will throw another twist at you. Love is powerful. Love is Dangerous. Love is always worth the risk.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Pingback: I TOO WANT TO: BE IN LOVE (but not with YOU) – I TOO WANT TO

  31. Reblogged this on teddyleting and commented:
    “We think too much before Investing our money or uploading a photo on Facebook or instagram, so why can’t we think so much in choosing the right Patner?” You’ve got to check the punchline…

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Amazingly said I totally agree with you you explained love and obsession so well I bet no other could of done it like that love can happen anytime anywhere sometimes we are prepared and sometimes we are not and yes due to bad timing we have to make the right/wrong decision for ourself but if that person is meant for us they will come back we should never lower ourself in love or make someone to take advantage of us yes there are compromises but don’t comprise so much that you start to forget yourself lust and obsession I feel is something we feel when we are alone we want attention we want to be loved and when happen to think omg this is love when it isn’t because you are just physically attached to the person not mentally and that true if you hate a person after breakup normally it’s love if you miss them and just wanna kiss them most likely it’s obsession your words are amazing and I love the fact how you openly explained everything every age group should read your post so they will understand the differences thank you for this post❤❤❤🙌🏼💯💯💯

    Do check out my blog posts and let me know you would think would love to know I’m new to the blogging world😊

    Liked by 1 person

  33. When I was 13 years old, I wrote this really innocent definition of love and found it recently: Love is when you’re comfortable.
    What d’you think?
    Thanks for sharing; I loved reading your post 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  34. I apologize for the delay. I’m just looking through the notifications. Thank you for reading and responding with such Lovefilled words❤️

    Like

  35. Very well written, Reva ! Though I feel the difference between love and attachment could have been explained in a better way by digging a little deep. I liked your blog on ‘Attachment’ where you have expressed this emotion excellently !☺

    Let me share some of my thoughts here:

    Love is for giving and love is forgiving. Attachment wants you to seek a lot of things (time, attention, words, physical desires, material things, a etc) from other person and forgiveness doesn’t come easily.
    Love is acceptance. Attachment has too many expectations.
    Love is when other person’s happiness is your happiness. Attachment is when you want other person to do something for you to be happy.
    Love is when you can let go of someone and his/her name can only bring smile on your face. Attachment is when you can’t think of letting go someone and looking back only hurts/angers you.
    Love is fearless. Attachment is insecure.
    Love is unconditional. Attachment is filled with conditions.
    Love is deep. Attachment is superficial.
    Love feeds your soul. Attachment feeds your body/mind/ego.

    Fortunately, I have been blessed and have experienced all of above. So please don’t look at it as a piece of gyaan coming from me. You may please share your feedback/thoughts on my comment 🙂

    More love and power to you ! Keep writing and keep smiling 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  36. To be honest this is the most beautiful comment I’ve received on this post. And yes, it could have been better. I didn’t want to repeat myself thats why I avoided points from my other post! Thank you so much for this, I totally agree and appreciate it. I loved every line of it, specially where you said, “love is fearless and attachment is insecure.”

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Thank you for the appreciation ! It feels good when your words add value and the reader loves it 🙂

    Btw, let me tell you that I owe you a bigger thanks ! I had been procrastinating since a long time to start a blog to express my thoughts and share my poetry, and finally when I came across this blogpost of yours, I felt the urge to comment here. And in the process, I found the way to Sign up on WordPress and finally the first step towards setting up my blog was taken before an hour 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Love, in my point of view, is a feeling that can’t be just explained in words… May be it can be.., not exactly though… It’s something that is to be felt… But how to know what you feel is Love??? Well…That’s a question no one have got answer to!

    Like

  39. Amazing to hop in 2 years later and find our feelings toward love are similar–as always an incredible read. Very happy you’re still at it, and I’m excited to say I’ll be around for a while this time ☺

    Liked by 1 person

  40. Hi Reva, this comment is basically a medium to msg you.. I don’t know if you remember but it was your blogpost on depression that led me to put an end to procrastination and start a blog of my own. You do follow my blog but I am not sure if you have read it recently. I wanted to share my latest post with you. Even though I follow you on Twitter but I guess you don’t follow me or may be your DMs are disabled, else I would have wrote this msg over there. So here it is: https://nikhilgtalreja.wordpress.com/2017/06/12/pyaar-ek-sundar-paheli/

    Would look forward to hear your feedback/thoughts on the same.

    Cheers ! Keep smiling 🙂

    Like

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