Who are you attracted to?

Damaged people? Someone who needs help. Someone whom you can provide emotional support to. Someone whom you think needs you to fix him. Someone who is in love with an other girl and you think you can make him love again because you can’t see him broken inside. Someone who has cheated on you or someone who isn’t ready to commit.

Ah! If you think I’m wrong, this isn’t for you.

If you think it fits, read on.

We, women, have an inherent quality to fix others. We think we are a fixer. We’ll make everything right. But, what if he doesn’t want to be fixed?

You can’t fix someone who doesn’t want to be fixed. You can only hope. You can only support and love him. Just make sure that he is worth it.

We create our own storms and then we cry when it rains.

I decided he is suffering and he needs my help. I thought I could heal his broken heart. I decided his ‘drinking daily’ ritual is a cry for help and I’ll change him. I couldn’t change him, but he did change me.

I started thinking there’s something wrong with me that he won’t love me as much as he loved the other girl. I couldn’t see that maybe it was just a case of bad timings.

It took me a long time to realise that I should stop beating myself over this and just focus on ‘me’ and not ‘we.’ I didn’t need to help him, I just needed to help me coming out of this notion that he needed help.

Constant arguments probably ruined a good thing.

We all have emotional baggage and that’s totally okay. If you can’t accept him the way he is, maybe it’s not worth the effort.

If you think he needs to change, maybe you are not the one for him.

Trouble began the moment I decided I won’t try to change a thing and I’ll accept him the way he is, but that didn’t help either. It made me feel worse about myself.

One fine day, I realised I was in love with the idea of him, not him per se. And I knew I was done.

When you fall in love, you accept people the way they are. This doesn’t mean you stop expecting them to walk an extra mile for you. If he won’t walk for you, you should walk away from him.

Know your worth, girl. You deserve better.

Again, the trouble is, we don’t like the ones who love us.

Human nature.

It’s compelling to attract people you can’t have and ignore the ones that you can.

Also, maybe it’s the challenge that attracts us to the damaged ones. Challenge to make him just like your idea of him. Maybe it’s the excitement you feel when you’re with them. Unpredictability is fun. It’s fucking addictive.

And last but not the least, may be it’s because you decide to live in those moments where he decided to love you back. Moments that ended then and there. It felt good to be loved, hai na? It feels so good when it’s good that we choose to erase the bad from our memories like hey you ignored me so many times but wait you called me that day and said you missed me. You had your moment of validation. But that moment is gone, honey. He took a break for a moment and decided to show some appreciation for all the love, but that’s it. It’s gone.

Just like that.

Stop reliving those moments.

Maybe you’ll find someone you love, maybe you won’t. Just remember, if it’s worth it, it won’t cause you pain. If you’re constantly confused about your relationship status, time to go single again.

Breathe.

I’m walking too, walk with me.

Xx

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5 thoughts on “Who are you attracted to?

  1. Its mystery of human kind. We do tend to be attracted to the broken heroes full of tragedies. Example can Devdaas, Romeo.
    Maybe it has to do with vulnerabilities, weakness, fragility and imperfect human nature.

    Like

  2. Well said… Most of the time we are in love with the idea of being in love rather than with the person. No good can come from trying to change a person. If someone loves you, they make the change themselves. Well written 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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