Change is inevitable, & so is personal growth. Looking back at 2016 I can think of so many incidents that shook me & I’m not talking about Brexit or Trump’s win for that matter.
I’ve decided to document these changes on this 7 part series called ~ ‘How 2016 changed me‘ & here is the first part – EGO.
“You don’t care about anyone but yourself.”
“You’re such a condescending jerk!!!!”
“You’re so full of yourself!”
“Why can’t you call first?”
“You really need to stop showing off!”
“It’s just a grammar mistake on a casual chat, please stop being a grammar nazi all the time.”
“Yeah yeah, you’re a Mr. KNOW IT ALL.”
“Will you stop fishing for compliments?”
“I know you have connections with powerful people because you mention that to me thrice a day. Stop!”
“You’re so materialistic!”
“Is it so important to have the Last word in an argument?”
If you’ve heard any of these sentences for yourself before, darling you’re suffering from ‘Ego-mania.’
So what exactly does Ego mean?
Ego is nothing but an image you’ve created for yourself that gives you an identity or should i say, Ego is an exaggeration of who you are. It’s the feeling of self importance that blinds you to the truth. Ego is your over confidence, Ego is what gives you a superiority complex.
We all have Ego, some have big Egos & others have realistic ones. A big ego is nothing but high self esteem & sometimes, it’s not a bad thing but most of the time, it is.
For example – When Muhammad Ali, a man who proclaimed himself “The Greatest,” you appreciate it and you certainly don’t call him overconfident for saying “I’m the best!!” because he has proven his mettle. That’s his swag. That’s his charm. That’s his big ego but it’s this ego ṭhat tells him, “You are unstoppable!” & he believes it. The truth is, it’s not just his big ego that made him great, it was his practice that did. But again, you can’t ignore the much needed motivation that his big ego gave him.
If some mediocre boxer announces that, ‘I’m the best!’ And lose his next fight, will you still appreciate it? No. You’ll laugh at him.
There, that’s the difference.
The trouble with big ego is, there’s a constant need of approval from others that you’re the best. You want to be appreciated. You think you deserve it, because come on, “you’re the best.” Things should go exactly how you want them to be.
You need all the attention in the world to feed your ego. Sometimes you’ll get it, sometimes you won’t. Trouble starts, when you are so immersed in this emptiness that you start lying around to make yourself sound important. You’ll belittle others just to prove you’re better than them. You become the drug sniffing dog of finding faults in others just to satisfy your need to be feel superior.
Ego is not ambition, ego is ‘over ambition.’ It’s an illusion. It’s a shadow you live behind to protect yourself from your own mediocrity. It is the root cause of ignorance.
“The ego is a terrible taskmaster who drives you to distress.”
(The Tao is Tao, 73)
It will be wrong to say that I’m not egoistic anymore. I don’t think that’s a state even possible to achieve. But yes, I’m not ‘that’ egoistic as how I used to be & that’s a progress I’m really proud of.
I’m not saying I don’t care about the compliments I get, I’m saying I don’t fish for compliments. I’m not saying I don’t like 300 likes on my pictures, I’m saying I don’t care even if it’s just 10. I’m not saying I’ll sell my iPhone because I’m not materialistic anymore, I’m saying I’m not gonna show off my iPhone. I’m not saying I’m satisfied with my life, I’m saying I’ve accepted the emptiness. I’m not saying that I won’t argue with you if I think you’re wrong, I’m saying I won’t hesitate accepting my mistakes.
It’s heartbreaking. If you have big ego, this is gonna shred you to pieces but if you are mature enough to understand that not everything is meant to make you happy, you might find happiness in letting go.
Everything that happens in your life, is not happening TO you, it’s happening FOR you. You don’t have to like it, but life will be happier if you do.
Even the word says, let it (e)GO.