Home » Musings » Disconnect.

Disconnect.

Are you always glued to your phone? Are you one of those people who snapchat/instagram, whenever they get ready or go out?
Do you feel the urge to tweet your thoughts?
Are you one of those who posts their zillion pictures on Facebook on every special occasion?

If yes, do read this post.

We wake up, get ready for work/studies, curse our jobs/homework (well most of us do), hate the traffic on our way home, go out for a little while and come back again to sleep. That excitement for Fridays, that hatred for Mondays. Well, we do get weekends to live. To party hard on a Saturday night, to sleep for ten hours on Sunday.
Doesn’t it describe most of our lives?
So what we need the most is a DISTRACTION.
That distraction is SOCIAL MEDIA.

Some of us post a part of their life, some goes overboard and post everything.

We post, and we wait.

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Wait for the likes. For the comments. From the people we may or may not know.

Now let’s do some dissection. Are we addicted to social media? How? Why? What are the signs? Can we do something about it?

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An addiction is something when you can’t stop yourself from doing it, even when you badly want to.

How often do you go on *alert mode* when a message notification pops up?
If it’s happening quite often, darling you’re a social media addict. Unfortunately, so am I.

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I think the reason behind my addiction is, I can’t take one second of boredom. So everytime, I need a break, I check my twitter.
Also, I won’t deny the fact that social media can also make you happy. All those praises, all those conversations. I love connecting with people. It’s like an extension of my social group.

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Also, CURIOSITY is in the human nature. We want to know What’s happening in others life. Not just the celebrities, also regular people. We follow them, sometimes we get INSPIRED (oh look what they were wearing, I need that in my wardrobe kinds), and sometimes we TROLL (oh look what they are wearing, so weird man!). We can’t help it. We just can’t. This is where this addiction begins.

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No privacy because Social Networking.

We put out best version online. Every one wants to be liked and appreciated. Again, human nature. We love when we get likes, when we get followers. It’s like we are in the limelight.

Social media satisfies our innate desire to be heard. To feel important. To feel significant.
But if not careful, it has the full capacity to make you anxious. Make you more vulnerable.

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As Shakespeare has said, “Stars, hide your fires. .
Let not light see my black and deep desires.” we want to be heard. This desire can take a dark turn. This can make you an addict. What once started as a classic ‘time-pass‘ becomes a major part of life. What started as a saviour from boredom, makes you it’s slave later, prompting you to check your phone even when you have company.

Also, FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) continues to ruin our lives.

We are often so immersed in our ‘online life’, that we forget to draw a line between the online & offline world.
This is where the trouble begins.

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Putting up a part of your life on social media is okay. Obsessing over likes is not. Fear of being invalidated is supreme. We start seeking for others approval. Why? Like seriously, why??? Will someone sitting miles across you, who hasn’t even met you, gets to have a say in your life? NO.

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What you chose to post is your choice. So, what they choose to say, is theirs. You’re happy with their likes, so be fine with their dislikes too. These things shouldn’t matter. And if you think, they are affecting you. . Take a break.

DISCONNECT.

THIS IS THE RIGHT TIME.

You have one life, and you are loved.
Don’t obsess over something like what that stranger on Twitter posted about you. Have you ever walked in a crowd, and thought what that person walking behind you is thinking about you? No, right? Then why should those strangers matter? Or why should anyone get to have a say in your life?

Life is all about creating memories. Pictures are for savoring those moments. Taking pictures to show them off later to people you don’t care about, isn’t what I’ll say savoring a moment.

So take a break. And literally and figuratively, get a life.

Here’s my challenge for you –
Go off your favorite social media for 1 week. Be it whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter, snapchat or instagram.
Post it here, then and now. Trust me, you’ll find a change. You might not like it at first, but you’ll be fine. Take it from Miss connectivity (that would be me).
It ain’t gonna be easy, but it will be worth it. Disconnect with social media to connect with yourself again.
Live a life that matters, and you won’t have to bother about the satisfaction from likes ever again.
‘Likes’ doesn’t matter, ‘Life’ does.

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222 thoughts on “Disconnect.

  1. Bravo! I do this. I don’t waste my time on FB or any of the social media sights. I learned this a few years ago when I was upon about something one of my family members said about me…I actually lost sleep and then realized how stupid it was and I never fall for it. I limit my time here on WP as well. I used to be addicted to it as well. I think it’s easy to do that Wonderful post. I love this! You are wise beyond your years! πŸ™‚ Happy Monday!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. It’s time everyone understands the impact of Social Media on life and decides the way they want and not get succumb by the speed n glare, because glare doesn’t last long do they ?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well, the we will exchange lot of thoughts via comments. I see your posts have long trail of comments, I will have to go through your blog, slowly and steadily in my leisure. Will share views on lot of them. I like the positivity on your blog – Acceptance, Happiness and Attachment – things I like the most !

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I haven’t written much 😝
    I’ll look forward to hearing from you πŸ˜‡
    I write what I want to tell myself. I’m selfish that way. I write for myself. .and it’s a beautiful feeling when you can connect with people with your thoughts, ain’t it? Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. A lot of us do.
    My blog is a journal, of my thoughts, which will help me keep track of how I grow. In future, I might refer them.

    In the process of doing so, if it helps any single soul, it would mean the world to me !

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Great and informational post. It is possible to be too connected, a former Communication consultant told me about ten years ago. You must unplug as you are adding to your stress, not taking away from it. But, here is one more critical piece. Your employer loves that you are connected while awake, as you tend to work more hours for them. My suggestion is to compartmentalize more. Check social media or email for twenty minutes after dinner and then turn it off, e.g.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. I am a culprit too, i have been thinking of disconnecting myself now. Though i don’t post excessively, but i do check SM often.
    An eye-opener this post is for me πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I seriously agree with you Reva. . I was also a serious Social media addict. Now I am taking measures to draw a line in between online life and offline life. Nowadays people think we just live online. It is good sometimes but it takes out our privacy. Many of us get addicted to likes, comments, hits, shares etc that we often forget the real purpose and connections.

    Social networking sites were established to connect the world, but I think they brought the world too closer that we can’t even breathe. 😦

    I have completely reduced my online presence when compared to before. Recently I stayed away from all sites when I toured Rajasthan, and the amount of happiness I felt is beyond expressible.

    Thank for the post. I just met the older me. πŸ˜›

    Have a good time. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Very aptly written. Travel anywhere and you can find, people with their heads down glued to their phones. Hardly do people nowadays enjoy whats in the surrounding and most of them end up believing whatever is posted to be real. The level of addiction has somewhere taken the sense of rationality.
    Beautifully drafted.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Well,well,first and foremost you are very beautiful.Secondly,your approach is pragmatic and you write so well girl,I guess I am gonna be your regular reader.And as per your post,I am even today addict of this whole-show me what you have got-thing aka social media..Guess I need to wait and ponder,What am I doing with my life?Thanks for the amazing post.Keep in touch!Nice meeting(blogging) you!Stay Blessed.And Smile,Coz Happy looks good on your face.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Very nice post!! Mentioned the reality of today’s world!! Now-a-days, we are so addicted to this social media and virtual happiness. We rely upon it. How useful it may be, but checking it after every 5 mins of time is a total waste thing. And so I do. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Thanks Shreya :* I myself, was overdoing it, that’s why the reality check, hence the post!! I’m glad you could connect! And thank you again for reading it, I know it’s itsy bitsy long πŸ˜›

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Sad but true… we are like pavlov’s dogs salivating already every time we hear the dings from our phones. As entertaining as social media is, we must not forget that there is real life out there to live, and that number of likes or followers we have is not a measure of our happiness. Thank you for putting this out there. It is very well laid out and entertaining at the same time. I couldn’t help but chuckle while reading it.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Of course! It was the irony of posting about the downside of social media – on social media! πŸ™‚
    Thank you for the follow by the way, I’m pleased to meet you!

    Liked by 2 people

  15. This is the first post i have read in your blog, i am already i big fan! Loved this piece, truly beautiful! Staying tuned for more as well as previous posts. cheers! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Wow, this was a breeze to read! And i completely agree with your perspective. I actually deactivated my facebook account a few years back, and my instagram one last week. I FEEL SOOO MUCH BETTER. I remember scrolling through my newsfeed looking at all these celebs and models living the high life, and me just feeling unsatisfied with my physical self, and my social life. Sometime I would even compare my worth based on my likes. So glad to see somebody do a post about this! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  17. To add to the above, I have seen a lot of guests walking into the houses, their eyes glued to their phones, and looking at their hosts as if they were ghosts…

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Me too! In fact, these days it’s hard to find people who aren’t glued to their phones!! Be it at home, or travelling in a bus, phone has become our master and technology has made us it’s slave.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. You’re gorgeous and wise. Word Press is not allowing me to like this at the moment. However, what a terrific read. My philosophy with everything in life is all things in moderation. I’ve made some really amazing friends through social media. Friendships that started online and then went offline. I tend to be shy and reserved in person so it’s easier for me to get to know people online first.

    I think there’s much to be said for disconnecting from time to time and getting in touch with yourself and life around you. Balance is crucial

    Liked by 1 person

  20. If i was good looking, photogenic and always had something interesting to say, I would be on instagram, facebook and twitter everyday.
    But I’m not.
    Instead I’m locked up in my room on my computer πŸ™‚
    I think part of feeling lonely is the lack of genuine social interaction. Posting everything about yourself can also be a sign of narcissism, and self-consciousness, and social media fulfills that, but doesn’t solve it.
    just my two cents.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I like your take! But WordPress itself is an addiction, don’t you think so? So many people sharing their life, and we are connected to all of them! Here we don’t care what they doing, we care about what they feel. Ain’t it an amazing feeling?

    Liked by 1 person

  22. I’m not saying I’m not self-centred. We all are, otherwise we wouldn’t have blogs and be posting our perspectives online πŸ˜›
    Rather I was saying if I was aesthetically please, I’d be on both twitter and instagram, haha

    Liked by 2 people

  23. Definitely! Its sad to see people missing out on life while in their online world . Although some needs social media to escape from their life’s that may be a worse place . Awesome read!!
    I might not charge my phone know!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. One thing I found that helped was shutting off the notifications. The social media is still there, and when I have time, I can log in and catch up…but I wasn’t being pinged every 30 seconds with a “look at me! look at me NOW” ding, flag, or notice.

    Helped me manage my time better and kept me out of what is really virtual quicksand….

    Like

  25. About a year ago, I posted “Clucking in the Social Media Coop” – my main idea agrees with you so much. My Question – Is building a platform for any message just an EGO building exercise as a person shouts what they think is right? I notice that both of OUR blogs still have the LIKE button enabled. We still WANT to hear and be involved in discourse.

    I’ve learned a lot from others. I’m glad they shouted, wrote a book, gave a lecture, created a blog- (like yours), a bible, a mandate, philosophy, or dharma . Their platform’s message helped me live a fuller life.
    How can that be just a negative Ego practice of communicating what They Believe is right?

    β€’Like a state fair, every chicken has something to offer that is different from the other chickens. What’s wrong with letting the differences show, or being presented? Like my website or yours? Is that only Ego gratification?
    β€’Oprah built a platform. Eckhart built one too. They both have books and shows and even talk about each other. Millions have lived richer lives because of both. Lots of people have learned and grown and have a richer experience of life because of YOUR blog, or mine, or thousands of others.

    Yet, what kind of platform does the (ego-less) light, or sound or wild flower need?

    Thanks for making me STOP and think. Always enjoyable when that happens. thanks for some more inspiration and smiles. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ momentummikey

    Like

  26. Hi Reva,

    my answer was “no” … so I felt obliged to stop reading the rest of your blog-post.

    I am delighted you are still around and hope you are enjoying life spreading your contagious happiness.

    Jens

    Liked by 1 person

  27. … that sounds like an invitation to actually read the rest ! … so let me do that right now! … I will come back to you with my reply πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  28. I connected with you when you read my Middle in The Tribune : Hitting Below the Belt , which is also on my Blog . Since it’s the first post which I am reading of you Reva ( Is the name correct ) I been impressed by your writing skills . I hope you can also check my writing skills in my Book on short stories : Journey from Guwahati to Machhiwara available from Notion Press , Amazon, Flipkart . The Best reviews of book have come from Bloggers of this site , one from Bangalore , another from Karachi & last one from Ahmedabad . And none of it was a paid review . The #Journey continues .

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Another A+ grade post. Really! One can always see the authenticity in what you write. And somehow, everything you write is uplifting. I will probably come back to you when I have a very negative message to write to somebody. Through your words it will probably sound positve. πŸ˜‰

    With respect to the topic: I can see the problem … but somehow got around it. I have no twitter, instagram, FB account, etc. and somehow feel absolutely no desire to get one. I have realized my own inability to “handle” more than a few people at a time. But those that I have chosen (and vice versa) have become very close real life friends with whom I share a deep connection. I can truely say that I have found my soul mate through blogging. I never thought that would be possible. We stay in touch through phone calls, emails and whatsapp. It is an extension of the available means of communication that I have with people that I can meet physically, face to face because they live next door. So what I have is a very personal, direct form of communication and not communication through broadcasting on social media. I enjoy getting to know people in depth and that includes loving and appreciating them as a whole (the real life people with all their happiness and sadness and all the trivialities of life). It is a bit like the difference between falling in love and loving. Falling in love is beautiful but it is ignoring the truth of the other person that we are not willing to see. Truely loving is a more wholistic approach, that is including everything that is below the beautiful fascade that the other person is willing to show in the first place. I guess that is what social media broadcasting does. It creates a fascade. But it makes us lonly because we actually want to be touched and seen in depth in a friendship. Our souls are longing for that touch by a friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Habit if not resisted it becomes necessity, I was an addict, I disconnected myself from WTF IS (Watsapp, Twitter, Fb, Insta, snap) some 6 to 7 months ago and what I feel is gold. Life has become more meaningful, some changes add value to your life and this one is such. Great post. Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. I will keep in touch. I need my dose of happyness from time to time πŸ˜‰ … what yould be better than to visit the blog of this vivacious young lady called Reva.

    I think everybody needs to find his/her own way in this jungle of new possibilities. What is true and good for me does not neccesarily work out for somebody else.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Can you tell me when the email was sent exactly? I have not checked my spam filter for a while and might find a few tousand mails in there.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Greetings Messupdressup03!

    Thank you kindly for inviting me to your blog, a fabulous place abuzz with conversation and nourishing posts! So beautiful and filled with life! And as for this one, yes and no. I am a social media addict, and no, I’m not addicted. I can fall back from any of my platforms for far longer than a week.

    I am an addict by choice, with a mindful intent, a purpose. I love expressing myself and connecting with others. And yes, one day all of this love and connecting will pay the bills! After all, your abundance is in the hearts of the people if you love something passionately enough and are able to convey that passion to others! Ask Michelle Phan and others on YouTube. I am a firm believer in doing what you love, no matter what! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Great piece of writing, I think we can all relate to our social media addiction. Social Media in today’s day and age is a huge problem, for we constantly make our lives revolve around it always trying to “1-up” the other. You definitely hit the nail on the head here though, being able to express our everyday need for social media.

    Liked by 1 person

  35. I love your writing girl! ^_^ So 5/5 stars for this. But extra stars for the topic you chose! We are proud addicts and I guess should feel bad and horrible about it than proud. See, I need to put in some new passwords and forget the same. πŸ˜€ I am gonna try to stay away from fb. I have already logged out of Instagram. So hopefully will be less of an addict soon. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Oh girl you πŸ’•
    You know, there’s an app with which tells you how many times you have opened these apps!? Also, what I do is, I’ve turned the notifications off. It surprisingly helped πŸ˜€

    Like

  37. Hey, old friend. Am i getting it wrong? came for a visit and finding things quite here… Hope all is well. πŸ™‚ – Cezane

    Liked by 1 person

  38. I did not grow up in the age of social media and never got hooked into facebook, or the like. But since I love to write, connecting on the Internet is a great and wonderful thing! I still feel for young people who have known nothing else. You, young lady are wise for your years. Keep up the very insightful writing!

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Quirky, funny, smart! That’s what I thought about this post. Very well done πŸ˜€ I am not on any social media platform…well, I don’t have the time to pretend to have a great life…but the moments of joy are sprinkled generously in my life and I do enjoy them, but not virtually through the computer πŸ˜€ nevertheless, I enjoyed reading your post…I’ve seen everyone around me use social media excessively and I completely identify with your disgust towards their behaviour πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  40. Oh my God! You’re too funnyπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    Still I don’t believe you yaar Ki char hee hoga, tu itna active rehti kaha hain fir agar post nahi karti toπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Like

  41. Very well scripted. Wrote like a go-getter. It obviously merit lofty remarks.
    Did your job in one of the best ways possible.
    Kudos!!! May you thrive by leaps and bounds.

    Liked by 1 person

  42. This is a really thorough presentation (in digestible terms!) of a growing malfunction in human connectivity. Thanks! My own mantra is ALL THINGS IN MODERATION … and lately I’ve been including WITH A PINCH OF SALT as less and less of what I encounter on social media is reliable in terms of truth. Social Media IS a creative sandbox for many, and I value creativity. (Glad you like StepsAndPauses!)

    Liked by 1 person

  43. True that! It’s been exploited for all kind of things now. But there’s a quote which says – I’m scared of people who don’t read news, and I’m even more scared of people who believe everything they read in news. Same goes for social media. Besides, it’s the best escape from our mundane life πŸ™ƒ

    Like

  44. You should write a book. I thoroughly enjoyed this. You write with finesse, your pictures are entertaining and you teach a lot in what you share. Clearly you care, your passion shows in the depth of your effort. And this, my dear, is why I blog! Thank you

    Liked by 1 person

  45. I got into social media after reading that writers need more to do than just sending a manuscript. I didn’t realize that I was entering a virtual community when I started the Blog, and now I’m showing my poetry and ersatz journalism efforts to more and more people. Through Facebook I got back in touch with family and communicate with old friends who live all over.

    That’s the good side. I sometimes forgot to check F’book, and I’m behind in e-mail. I have a lot more to do on-line: sites to help develop my writing skills, news and how-to-sites on nearly anything you want to learn, free college courses (after this message I’ll be checking “College for Seniors) and new hobbies to pursue. Also, learn new skills for better employment.

    Could being aware of this help those addicted? Like, do something real out there! I hope so.

    Thank you for following my Blog!

    Like

  46. It is definitely hard to disconnect. I’m very guilty of being the guy who sleeps next to his phone and checks it last thing before falling asleep and first thing in the morning. but I try my hardest to balance it. When I travel (and I love to travel) I spend way more time using social media to share experiences rather than just troll through other people’s posts. Hopefully I can do more of that. Headed to Greece today. Wish me luck!

    Liked by 1 person

  47. I feel I have a unique perspective on this subject. Over 20 years ago I was living with a man who was addicted to the internet and to “pre-social media”: chat rooms (remember those??). Then, 5 years ago I obtained my degree in Substance Abuse Counseling. Something I’d wanted since getting treatment for alcohol abuse 28 years ago. I was also married to a man who was a raging alcoholic and he drank himself to death 13 years ago (he was my ex by then).
    That long preface was to show that I have learned about addiction from multiple sides and saw internet addiction in its earliest form.
    Addiction is anything thing that is a Maladaptive Behavior for coping with unpleasant emotions, like boredom. The Millennials never knew a time without multiple distractors, VCR’s, cable TV, the internet, cellphones and then smartphones. I knew parents back in the eighties and nineties who would plunk their children down in front of a video if they started to cry. We called the TV the “Electronic Babysitter”. The message that was sent to those children was, “If you feel bad, watch something”. The skill of working through those emotions was never developed. Earlier generations learned to drown those emotions with alcohol and drugs, so I’m not saying we were perfect. Just look at the Hippies!!
    The internet is worse because it gives you the illusion of being connected, you have over 400 friends on Facebook after all. But. There is NOT the face to face connection that humans need. No physical contact is involved. If I were to give you my name and you looked at my Facebook page, you’d see almost no posts. What I usually post are links to news stories. I don’t even remember my Twitter password! I drew the line when Instagram and Snapchat came on the scene! I do have over 400 friends, some are family who live out of state and a lot are friends who live out of state that I see at festivals. A couple of them are ex-boyfriends!! πŸ™‚
    It’s easy to say to disconnect, but if it is an addiction some form of support needs to be there to teach you how to deal with those pesky emotions or you’ll go back to what you know to do to cope with them.

    Like

  48. Hey Reva,

    I hope you are going find and that 2017 is going to be a very promising year in your life. I have stopped blogging… to be honest my blogging was not to brilliant anyway. I found out that I was in search for something though I never knew I was seaching until way after it has become a part of my life, my heart my soul, fulfilling and completing me to a dergree that it seemes beyond this life. I have found my soulmate.

    Liked by 1 person

  49. I get it. You’re my favourite on WordPress! Probably the only one I kept in touch after all this while. Blogging is about expressing yourself and you’ve done a wonderful job ❀️ please stay πŸ€—

    Liked by 1 person

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