“I can live for two months on a good compliment.”
– Mark Twain.
That’s wonderful Mr. Twain, but I sincerely don’t think many people can live off of 6 compliments per year!
Who doesn’t love compliments? I know, I do. .it’s sheer happiness when someone praises you. It’s like all the ‘Self doubt’ is melting away. .when I hear people praising me, I get this big smile on my face. .
But is it healthy?
As Freud has said, “we are able to defend ourselves from attack but never from a compliment.” After a while, we start craving for attention. It becomes a necessity to be approved by people. Thanks to social media, this pool of people has increased from family & friends to strangers. .
Do not judge me, but this was the scene a while back –
My heart : love this picture, upload it.
Brain : but would it fetch 100 or more likes?
Vanity : Ah! Apparently, No! Click another.
& before I forget to mention, Vanity wins. Almost all the time. .
But imagine, just imagine. . How peaceful your life would be, if no one needed any praise. .Imagine a world where people don’t desire to get attention. .where there is no need to be validated by others. .
Sweet praises? Ignore.
Sour remarks? Ignore.
Iam not saying attention is bad. Iam saying, ‘need for attention’ is bad. Iam not saying ‘stop using social media & Go to himalayas & meditate’, Iam saying, ‘don’t give a damn to what people think. They don’t define you. You do.’
Just relax. Breathe.
Moreover, Praises are an addiction. We often try to change ourselves to impress others. .to be good enough to get more accolades. .What we don’t realise is, how unhealthy it is. .Thanks to social media, we often surround ourselves with people who flatter us. .feign being genuine. .people who make us feel like we are trading compliments for compliments. .Validation for Validation & unfortunately, also, Judgement for Judgement. .Never trust a compliment in return of a compliment. .The fact is, you’ll find yourself in a happy place, the moment you stop trying to impress others. .
Key to a healthy relationship is where there are no false pretences. .haven’t you heard of this famous line, “I love you, because I can be myself with you.” Well, why can’t you be yourself with others. What’s stopping you? It is okay to be you, without requiring constant affirmation from others. .accept yourself, accept others. .trust me, it’s a lot better than fighting for attention. .
One guy commented on one of my Instagram post, “you just missed out on height, otherwise super hot.” Well, life is small and so am I. To be honest, for a while (actually more than a while) I worried, regretted my height (including pestering my friends with the same question again & again – am I too short?). .and for what? One lame comment? Was it even worth it?
It took me a long time to understand, it is okay not being perfect. And more importantly, it is okay when people say you’re not perfect.
This world we live in, needs our patience, & yes, acceptance. .
Just to be clear, I am not saying praises are bad. .Accept compliments, but don’t let it bolster your ego. .You don’t need them to feel beautiful. .don’t change yourself to please others. .Appreciate yourself. .You are beautiful, just the way you are! Find your peace. .
Having said that, Never underestimate the power of random compliments. .they can make someone’s day. .See good in people. .
Appreciate others. .Be kind. .Spread the love ❤